Roar Katie xo

Yeap, happens to the best of us. I have not posted in ages and I was thinking what I should write about. Then it hit me. Writers block. I know to you right now it seems like two words or just blank. Welcome to my world. Writers block is what happens when you over think things completely. I came to that about 4 months a go in my faith. Just over analyzing things and trying to live the perfect story. Then all of a sudden. There was nothing.

Then I decided to go for a walk. Then it hit me. Sometimes you need to just reset your focus. Go back to the basic’s. I sat down and prayed. I then continued to sit in his presence and just listened.

After that my life just seemed to flow back. My story was being written again.

So actually this was the day of either a massacre or murder. Problem is no one knows for sure which one. Either way it’s a day were people need to appreciate that special someone in their lives. People get so caught up in valentines day and never want to be alone and single. But do try realize that they new to open their eyes up and see that who they love are those people that are in their lives day to day or week to week that influence them and you would miss of they up and left this world tomorrow.

So do me a favor and yourself. Tomorrow when you look at those people. Take the time to appreciate their smile. Say I love you and those people you lost keep in your memory for the happy times.

Even though I’ll be spending valentines day single. I won’t be spending it alone.

Every time you cross my mind, I break out in exclamations of thanks to God. Each exclamation is a trigger to prayer. I find myself praying for you with a glad heart. I am so pleased that you have continued on in this with us, believing and proclaiming God’s Message, from the day you heard it right up to the present. There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears. (Philippians 1:3-6 MSG)

Psalm 139

O Lord, you have searched me and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
You perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and lying down;
You are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue, you know it all completely.

So from the very womb God knew us. He knows when we are being persuaded into not being ourselves.

You see there is a difference in who you are and what you do.
People seem to think that sometimes going out and doing things they think is who they are.

For a long time I thought myself a loser, low life and failure. Then my actions started to shape around things that weren’t me. But who I claimed my self to be.

But when I slowly started to listen to myself and think and write. I realized I actually have completely different qualities. Like being caring, smart, a leader. It was like a whole new light was being shown on the things I ignored for many of years. Now I enjoy my life a lot more because my actions now match up with me.

Jesus introduced me back to myself. He reminded me that what I thought before wasn’t who I was. That he knew exactly who I was and I shouldn’t have let those things other people said shape my life into something I wasn’t.

Like trying to put a square in to a circle. Haha love that song.

In movies, you see the mother ask what gotten into you? When she know that what you did was out of character. On the same page? Well it’s the same with God. So I ask, what’s gotten into you?

Secondly he always FORGIVES! No matter what you have done its been whipped clean. If you somehow forgot who you were then remember we are human and there are mistakes we made. But don’t forget who you are and fix it.

Every time I think of you-and I think of you often!-I thank God for your lives of free and open access to God, given by Jesus. It’s written, I’ll turn conventional wisdom on its head, I’ll expose so-called experts as crackpots. So where can you find someone truly wise, truly educated, truly intelligent in this day and age? Hasn’t God exposed it all as pretentious nonsense? Since the world in all its fancy wisdom never had a clue when it came to knowing God, God in his wisdom took delight in using what the world considered dumb-preaching, of all things!-to bring those who trust him into the way of salvation. (1 Corinthians 1:4, 19-21 MSG)

There it is written my friend, do not be fooled so easily, by the persuasive tricks the media has given you. Those thugs that apparently are normal and “shouldn’t affect you”.

Should we stop and listen to those who have been there? But no we choose to ignore and think, oh but surely that wouldn’t happen to me. What makes you so different from the others?

I know as a teenager I ignored heaps that could’ve gotten me out of some big sticky situations as a kid. Only know I realized how stupid I acted. Those times I made a drunken fool of myself or left crying out for help and others turning their back on me. Let alone those times I hurt people.

I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting lately. I used to get easily persuaded by others. What came from that was hanging onto those things that I should’ve gotten rid of. One situation lead to the next. Im sorry is the hardest word I yet to say but here are some things I’m not proud of but I say please don’t make the same mistakes I did:

Raeleen- If your reading this I’m super sorry!!! In grade 8 or 9 I excluded you and dissed you and I’m sorry I wrote those things on the library wall. Still you were willing to be my friend. I will gladly say anything I said about you was not true of course and it’s my time to say you are amazing and a absolute great friend.

Nikki- I’m sorry I constantly made my self and embarrassing friend for you to hang out with. When I made a drunken fool of myself at your parties. I’m sorry I tried being their for you when you were hurt and I want to be a better friend. Because you have been soooooo awesome.

Jessica- thanks for just putting up with all my crap and making me feel included in the group. Sorry I haunt been the best of friend to you and haven. Hung out in a while :(

Ovi- you were such a great boyfriend, any girl would be lucky to have you. Sorry I broke things off the way I did and best of all thanks for the forgiveness. You were my best friend ages ago and I miss that. Let’s just say I was listening to others inside my head then what my Herr was saying. At least now we have grown up and I’m able to say sorry.

And I’m sure I’ve done heaps more to everyone. But these things should not dwell on me anymore. That I shall not be held captive but instead let others know so they don’t make the same mistake. So please my friends be careful with your words and remember sometimes it’s ok to admit what you did wrong.

It’s crazy to think of how much power and strength one person is able to go through, be put through or the strength they maintain as they do so. When thy reach a problem they need to face.

I was chilling reading Esther today. So if your not familiar with this amazing bible story she was taken to the court with a many other pretty girls when the King was looking for a new wife. The king chose her totally smitten by her good looks. But little did he actually know that she was a Jew. Her uncle at the time who had adopted her because her parents no longer remained let her know what the kings right hand man Haman was planning to kill all Jews. Her uncle told Esther just because she was queen now didn’t mean she would be spared.

Now Esther was a kind hearted woman barely spoke up and went along with her husband the king. But she soon found strength to ask the king to spare her people. I mean after he shun his first wive for not appearing when summoned Esther must of found it hard to ask. But the king sided with in the end and the Jews enemy’s were all removed.

This is a great reminder that God places us in situation he knows we can handle. If you be loyal you shall be rewarded. Esther had displayed amazing loyalty and good will towards her husband. In return she was rewarded with setting her race free.

But you need to understand that God doesn’t work on goody points. Rewards come best when unexpected. And even your rewards can effects others and teach you a lesson.

Like in the movie beastly, modern day version of beauty and the beast. He became ugly because he was vain and mean. The only way he could return to being normal was to find someone to love him.

Eventually he started to care about the people around him. His eyes because of this curse became his lessons that had changed him for the better. With that his reward came with helping those he was stuck in the situation.

Whenever I come to face battles I shall always think of it like this. In the end what lessons of life has God blessed me with?

Easy word to say. But hard to mean it. Instead of getting angry try to see it in their shoes. Its hard to think of anything beyond how it affects you. There is always more then one side.

Just remember my friend you yourself cannot judge those who have done wrong unless you yourself have not committed sin. I remember the story in the bible were they going to stone this woman in the bible because she committed a sin. But Jesus stopped the crowd, he said the only person who can throw the next stone is the person who has not committed a sin ever.

I love this part in the bible it’s just an amazing example of Gods love and defiantly his forgiveness. Why judge others when you to have wronged yourself.

So listen if you are just filled with this guilt of something and are fully ashamed. You need to hear this. Your not ever alone. Nobody could throw that stone at the woman because they had done wrong themselves. Why should they lay any harm to that woman for the thing she committed when they to had done wrong.

Forgive them father, for they know not of what they have done. Jesus said this as he hung there looking up. Barely being able to breath and suffering from everything he had been through. He had to pull himself up to breath and that would defiantly hurt with the nails in him. Sorry Bruno mars but Jesus really did die for me. Yet coming back to this line. These few words that have fully affected my life. Forgive them, for they know not what they do.

Nobody can read your mind. Nobody can possible know how everything affects you personally. They can’t tell it eats at you everyday. Let me tell you God does.

I try to forgive a lot. Let me tell you it’s defiantly hard. Being. Let down is hard. But guilt eating at you is the worst by far. I want you to stand there and think for a second. Who let you down. And then think what have you done to hurt someone. Then I want you to with each hand to write it down and hold it to the sky and drop it. God has taken that away from you. I know it sounds stupid but seriously it gives you a feel for everything that this stands for.

We need to get past the judgement and start to care for people. Everyone stuffs up. But everyone needs some help. Hard for meant to say I’m the last person to ask. But seriously you can never go it alone.

It’s amazing how long they can stick in your head. How long they can take to use skill to capture it. But you can’t recreate the whole thing. You can’t seem to be able to capture the feelings and emotions of yourself to an extent.

Sure we capture things others have missed. Sometimes they can reveal things to you. But beauty is impossible to recreate completely to perfection.

We can’t see the big picture of what God has in stall for us because we are not the artist painting the picture. We don’t know what his doing. At this point we won’t quite understand it if we did know. We don’t know who we will be next year. And that’s the thing God has planned. We weren’t made to be in control because we cannot see beyond our next step into someone else’s picture. We don’t see compassion or kids that are hiding scared. But God does.

One picture that puts me into a moment I could never stand to see but has changed me is, Jesus hanging on the cross. He had been through every pain because of everything I and you did wrong and it was by our choice. How could we ever do that to a person let alone the son of God?

But he forgives us! Forgive them father for they do not know what have done!

This is forgiveness i could never live up to. What a amazing picture.