I know bit of a tough song. A bit harsh even.
Last Halloween I went to a costume party dressed as Alice in wonderland. I was going to hang out with some friends I have known for years. They weren’t to accepting of my new life I was trying to live as a Christian. I’m normally wiser and on guard. But they were pretty much family. My walls of trust were already down.
So here I was, Alice in wonderland wondering around this party. Drinking only lemonade. Soon enough this is the memory I lost. I got up and Looked down at my wrist. There was a white bracelet around my wrist. It took a bit for my eyes to adjust. I naturally freak out a bit. I look over at my mother who sat in the chair looking at me. Without words she hands me my phone. My co leader had text me noticing some photos from last night. My head was throbbing as it then rang. I was to embarrassed. I realised the girl in the pictures was not me. I hung my head almost in tears as I just took whatever was coming.
I had been drugged. But thank goodness my dignity was restored when I found out I still remained pure. Jesus watched over me and made sure I was safe. With the medication I was on the person that drugged me. Could’ve killed me. It could’ve, but it didn’t.yet on the same day a youth leader lost his life. Why wasn’t it me? A question I naturally asked.
Then weeks after my friend all so had lost his life along with his girlfriend in a car crash. Why was I still here? I didn’t deserve to be here. They were innocent, why them. But I’ll never know.
My therapist said I needed to journal. So here it is. Maybe some girl will learn from this mistake. Parties and the life of drinking is not the answer. Sure it seems amazing to dress up and get noticed and with drinking it all seems natural. But you don’t know that person. From someone who is recovering. It’s not worth going to that party. Although you will think… It won’t happen to me. I must ask, what makes you so special? What makes you the exception. Don’t make the same mistakes. Make different ones.